The World According to Duchess St. Rollins:

Try and wrap your mind around this, you holy-rolling fuckwits, the numbers you are citing have already been thoroughly debunked by Media Matters and Fact Check. Not only that, but you screwed up the erroneous figures to begin with! It was falsely reported in the WSJ that oil companies make 7 cents per gallon to the government’s 88 cents and the statistics cited were traced back to ExxonMobile themselves. According to the Congressional Research Service, the five main oil companies made almost $133 billion in profits in 2011, compared to the U.S. government who only generated $24 billion with the federal gas tax. Isn’t it rather slothful to do such piss-poor research and half-assed reporting?

The next glaring inaccuracy in your little status update is your preposterous claim that the government is spending $40,000 a second on “socialist” policies (which were all voted on by democratically elected officials). First of all, what “socialist” policies are you referring to exactly and do you include the $7 billion in subsidies we hand out to oil companies every year in that figure? I’m guessing not, but that you are once again shamefully blaming the poorest and most vulnerable for our fiscal problems. Meals on Wheels and baby formula for poor children via programs like WIC are the real fucking problem, right? Why do you think it’s okay for oil industry executives, which are being showered with record profits and bonuses to get tax breaks and be subsidized by the taxpayers, but not people who are working and struggling to make ends meet AND THEIR INNOCENT CHILDREN?

WWJD? Well, I assume he would provide for the weak and downtrodden and want those living in lavish opulence to chip in a bit. I’m pretty sure Jesus never uttered, “those poor kids aren’t my fucking problem” and wasn’t fond of Social Darwinism in general.

Anyway, let’s move on to this debt you all constantly yammer about. We are still able to borrow at an absurdly low interest rate and the smart thing to do would be to not worry so much about the debt and worry instead about getting this fucking country back on its feet. Would you worry about your credit card debt if the only way you could get some food so you didn’t starve to death was to charge it and pay it back later? If you don’t eat, you become weak and can’t work and the vicious cycle repeats forever until you die. THAT’S the situation we’re in as a country right now and tightening the belt instead of investing in infrastructure projects and putting Americans back to work is the STUPIDEST thing we could possibly do at this point. Don’t you douchehammers read about what’s happening in Europe?

I don’t think the problem here is “O.” It’s lazy, malleable dolts like yourselves who believe everything Fox tells them without investigating any of their bullshit propagandist claims. Fuck you for being such a bunch of gullible morons and spreading this fabricated, fear-mongering horseshit.